Vulnerability

 

I’ve never been one to post my own picture…

I find myself in love with

being behind the camera

and 

letting that imagery speak

of who I am.

Social Media opens 

To our vulnerabilities, 

And I am struck

That it is so much easier

To show my work…

Which is my heart and soul~

(Really, how vulnerable is that?)

This photo is not my most recent, 

It is a little over a year old,

But I chose it for a reason.

I grew up with Auburn Hair

And it stood out.

I was very shy,

 and was uncomfortable standing out.

So now,

the auburn has turned dark 

 to salt and pepper.

No longer am I 

Defined as a ginger.

After a slight wobble 

Back and forth with hair color,

I’m finding that I really like 

This older version 

Of me. 

So how is it not 

As hard to show my work, and not feel as vulnerable?

Well, aside from the fact, 

that creating and sending my lovelies off,

 is how I make my living.

The answer is,

Quite frankly,

 I’m not.

It’s all a leap of Faith.

Over the years,

I have taken parts of creating,

That I have never felt 

Were my strongest suit.

I dove into them

As a personal challenge

To tackle.

All while showing them on the internet.

My Patterns?

I only had a badly made tote bag

 and simple shirt

Under my belt. 

…and let’s a not forget that time,

 when it was cool to make your bell bottoms longer with fabric strips…

What did Stacey do?

Took some cues from a friend and mentor

And pushed my way thru

To do folky dolls

For local craft shows…

And then use the designs for a pattern line.

It gave me the opportunity

To work from home, 

something that I

Desperately needed to do

As a caregiver and a single Mom.

Then, to keep a promise to 

My Father,

I promised to show 

That I could draw and sculpt.

I took on my fear of Ink

And created imagery

With the help

Of Monahan Papers.

and finally…

The dolls.

I knew that

If I was going to sculpt,

They needed to be dolls.

But…

Faces were my nemesis 

And so my friends…

You have watched me over the years.

Very much at my most

Vulnerable.

Holding my breath

And hoping that

With each

Leap of faith

And 

My wonky beginnings 

That you would be 

Beside me as I grew the skills.

Let’s not forget

About my weird….

Pumpkin ladies?

 Moon and whale ladies?

All of the Victorian Mourning inspired?

No matter who I have been becoming,

I have had wonderful

Friends in you….

Even, at my most vulnerable